Fire Resistant
by Settiai
Summary: The team decided to redecorate the Hub for a very good reason.


"Get down!"

Gwen threw herself out of her chair without any hesitation, hitting the floor hard enough to take the breath from her lungs. Ianto very rarely yelled, and when he did there was typically a very good reason for it. She glanced up, trying to see what his warning was about. . .

. . . and her desk burst into flames.

"What the hell?" She began to stand, only to duck back down, arms thrown above her head, as a spurt of flames short just over her head. "Ianto! My desk is on fire!"

She heard the sound of shattering glass come from somewhere to the right, out of her field of vision. "I am well . . ." There was a pause as Ianto grunted in pain. ". . . aware . . ." Another pause was broken by something heavy hitting the floor. ". . . of that fact."

Out of the corner of her eye, Gwen saw Owen ducking down behind his own desk. Moving enough that he could see her face, she mouthed: "what's happening?"

"How the hell would I know?" he hissed back.

With a great puffing sound, a wave of foam covered Gwen's desk. The flames were smothered almost instantly. As the last one went out Gwen grabbed her chair and pushed herself to her feet. Tosh was standing in front of her, fire extinguisher in hand and traces of soot trailing down the sides of her face.

Nearby, Owen clambered to his feet as well.

"What's going on?" Gwen asked worried. She didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but she didn't see Ianto anywhere either. "I thought you and Ianto were checking up on the Rift activity around the castle."

Tosh lay the fire extinguisher down on Gwen's desk. "We did," she said dryly. "There was a dragon in the keep."

Gwen stared at her.

"You're kidding," Owen said, snorting. "You've got to be making that up."

As Tosh merely raised an eyebrow, his smirk faded. Shaking her head, she glanced warily around the room. Gwen followed her gaze, noticing for the first time that it looked like more of a disaster zone than usual. Smoke drifted lazily around the Hub, a sign that her desk hadn't been the only casualty. Even the walls were scorched in places.

"A dragon?" Gwen asked slowly. "I mean, really? An actual dragon?"

"Well, not an _actual_ dragon, obviously," Tosh replied. "It's definitely some type of alien life form, but it looks and acts like a miniature version of the dragon from legends. And it can breathe fire from a surprising distance, considering its size."

Reaching up to rub her temples, Gwen dropped down in her chair. "Okay, start from the beginning."

Tosh shrugged. "There's not much to tell," she said sheepishly. "It scared one of the night guards half to death before flying over the walls. Ianto and I chased it down St. Mary Street, and it was almost to the station before we finally caught it."

"And now it's loose again," Owen said, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. "How exactly did the damn thing get free?"

Behind them, Ianto cleared his throat. They all turned around, and Gwen barely suppressed a giggle when she saw him. His usually immaculate suit was covered in ash, his tie half burned away.

"It melted the cage we put it in," he said dryly. "Or I should say the pet carrier, since I'm fairly certain that's what it was. Correct me if I'm wrong."

Owen coughed and didn't meet his gaze.

Gwen started to say something but thought better of it. Sighing tiredly, she caught Ianto's eyes. "Where is it now?"

"Having a staring match with our other resident flying reptile."

She stared at him for a moment, not certain whether or not he was serious. Then she laughed. It wasn't that funny, not really, but she just couldn't help herself. Gwen suspected that she sounded a bit hysterical, and her suspicions were confirmed when Owen walked over to her chair and gently squeezed her shoulders.

A glass of water was pressed into her hands, and she gratefully took a sip. Once she'd calmed down, she sheepishly looked back up. "Sorry."

"I didn't think it was that amusing myself," Ianto said, the ghost of a grin on his face. "Though admittedly I was trying to put out my flaming tie at that point."

Gwen smiled back. Then she took a shuddery breath. "Any ideas what we should do with our fire-breathing . . . ." She stopped. "I'm not calling it a dragon."

A thoughtful look appeared on Ianto's face. "I like the name Smaug."

"You would," Owen said with a snort. "That's why Jack doesn't let you name things very often."

Everyone froze. Gwen wasn't certain, but it felt almost as if the temperature of the room dropped several degrees.

An apologetic expression appeared on Owen's face. "Sorry, habit."

Gwen closed her eyes for just a second before reopening them and shaking her head. "There's nothing to apologize for," she said firmly. "His name's not taboo."

"It's close enough," Tosh said softly.

None of them could argue with that fact. They stood in silence for a moment or two, uncomfortable looks on their faces. Then, somewhere else in the Hub, there was a loud shriek followed by an ominous crash.

"Well," Ianto said with forced cheerfulness, clapping his hands together, "it sounds like the staring match is over."

Another cry echoed through the Hub.

"And it sounds like the pterodactyl won," Owen said wryly. Ianto held up a finger and opened his mouth to speak, and Owen quickly held up his hand. "Yes, I know it's actually a ptera-something-or-other and not a pterodactyl. For once, can you not correct me?"

Ianto closed his mouth.

Gwen sighed and rolled her eyes. "Owen, go check on the . . . dragon-like alien creature."

"Oh, that's smooth," Ianto muttered.

She shot him a look.

"Why me?" Owen asked.

She met his gaze without blinking. "Because I've had a bad day, week, month even, and it would really make me feel better to see you running around with your clothes on fire."

Tosh started to laugh, and she quickly tried to hide it with a cough. Ianto's eyes twinkled. Owen threw up his arms, grumbling under his breath as he walked off. The hint of a smile tugging at his lips, though, showed that he wasn't too upset.

Once he was out of sight, Gwen let her eyes drift around the room. "This is going to take forever to clean up, isn't it?"

"Probably," Tosh agreed.

Ianto shook his head. "Definitely."

They stared at each other for a moment before all three of them slowly started to smile. "In that case," Gwen said, pushing herself to her feet, "how do you feel about a little redecorating?"

An appraising look on his face, Ianto glanced around the room. "I'd say it has possibilities."

Owen suddenly let out a surprised yell.

Without saying another word, Ianto turned and dashed in the direction Owen had disappeared in. Tosh shot Gwen an apologetic look before grabbing the discarded fire extinguisher and running after him.

Gwen sighed. "First things first," she said, addressing the empty room. Then she turned and hurried after the rest of the team.


End file.
